College Religion

THE DEAN
    Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
    Is more powerful than a locomotive
    Is faster than a speeding bullet
    Walks on water
    Gives policy to God

THE DEPARTMENT HEAD
    Leaps short buildings in a single bound
    Is more powerful than a switch engine
    Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
    Talks with God

PROFESSOR
    Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
    Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
    Is faster than a speeding BB
    Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
    Talks with God if a special request is honored

ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR
    Barely clears a Quonset hut
    Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
    Can fire a speeding bullet
    Swims well
    Is occasionally addressed by God

ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
    Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
    Is run over by locomotives
    Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
    Treads water
    Talks to animals

INSTRUCTOR
    Climbs walls continually
    Rides the rails
    Plays Russian roulette
    Walks on thin ice
    Prays a lot

GRADUATE STUDENT
    Runs into buildings
    Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
    Is not issued ammunition
    Can stay afloat with a life jacket
    Talks to walls

UNDERGRADUATE STUDENT
    Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings
    Says "Look at the choo-choo"
    Wets himself with a water pistol
    Plays in mud puddles
    Mumbles to himself

DEPARTMENT SECRETARY
    Lifts buildings and walks under them
    Kicks locomotives off the tracks
    Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them
    Freezes water with a single glance
    Is God.

--
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." Bill Gates '81
Cameron Waddel
President - AITCU (Auckland Institute of Technology Christian Union)
JAWS (Jesus At Wellesley St) is the mission of AITCU
Affiliated to:
TSCF (Tertiary Students Christian Fellowship)
Pending - ATISA (Auckland Technical Institute Students Association)
TSCF is affiliated to:
IFES (International Fellowship Of Evangelical Students)
TSCF Web Page : http://www.ozemail.com.au/~luka/tscf_nz.html
TSCF/OCF Conference 1998 Web Page : http://www.tscf.org.nz
IFES Web Page : http://www.ifesworld.org