Keith’s Perspective

This is a lightly edited version of notes I made on 1 November 2005, just three weeks after the event.

We knew something was probably going to happen soon. So we were waiting for it all weekend, and hoping that I wouldn't have to go to work on Monday only to come back again! But on Sunday night, Carolyn's contractions were painful enough that she began to wonder if she should call the midwife. I encouraged her to!

She also called her mum - we'd agreed that she could fulfil one of her long-term ambitions, which was to be present at the birth of one of her grandchildren (since she hadn't really been able to enjoy the experience of being present at the birth of her own children! :-) ). So she arrived soon after, and a little later on the midwives appeared. Everyone was very relaxed and chatty - we didn't quite get to the cups of tea stage, but nearly.

Carolyn's contractions were quite strong, even this early, so I was soon counting her through them. In between contractions, she was fine. After a while, Carolyn moved onto the gas and air.

It started to seem like it was taking a long time. We were thinking "this baby will be born by 0230", then "by 0300", then ... . I was surprised that the midwives weren't examining Carolyn, given how fast she progressed last time, but it seemed they were doing it on a strictly four-hourly basis. She was keen to know if she was 10cm yet!

Carolyn really couldn't get comfortable - she was feeling it in her back in particular. Surprisingly, despite Carolyn's SPD, the best position seemed to be sitting astride a wooden chair. Various bad positions were tried on the sofa or near it - a big problem was the plastic sheeting we got from Homebase to protect the floor and sofa, with a rubberised cotton sheet on top for comfort: it all just kept slipping like crazy! Now we know why they said in Cambridge that we should use bubble wrap!

At one point the midwives asked for a mirror, and I (doing the speaking-for-my-partner thing they told us about in ante-natal class) said that Carolyn didn't particularly want to watch. But it turned out that they wanted it for them, not for Carolyn. Blush!

By this stage they'd unpacked the sterile delivery kit, had everything ready for the baby, and were just sitting waiting. But things still weren't going anywhere - it was very strange. We pushed for them to break the membranes. It seemed like they were going to wait forever - we pretty much had to actually say "please break the membranes" to get them to do it. But they did.

Leanne (the younger midwife) did an exam, with her glove on. From her expression, something was clearly up. I asked what, and she said she had to confirm this diagnosis. Can't remember, but I think they whispered in the dining room and Gillian did an exam. Then she said - that's not a head! Crazy things went through my head for a second, until I realised it was breech (did Gillian say? I can't remember). She explained that this was now an emergency, and they'd call 999 - the baby must not be born at home. She did.

The ambulance arrived very quickly - I was amazed. We got Carolyn out - while they were debating how to do it, she simply walked out the door and got onto the trolley. Then they had to get her into the ambulance - that was very undignified, with her on the trolley in her dressing gown, and the trolley being (literally) winched up the ramp with people holding her on.

For the whole time from when she was diagnosed breech until she got to the hospital, Carolyn had to be on her hands and knees the whole time with her bottom in the air. A very undignified position, but used gravity to help Carolyn not push the baby out - the very thing every fibre of her being wanted to do, and she was desperately having to fight against. There are significant risks to having a vaginal breech delivery, and at home or in the ambulance was not the place to risk them! But it was horrible for Carolyn.

I had the hospital bag. I fluffed about a bit at the back door of the ambulance, until eventually they took the bag off me and sent me to the front seat. There was a window through to the back compartment, with no glass, so I could see and call out to Carolyn etc. They took ages sitting outside the house, or so it seemed, before we headed off - 15-20 minutes? Not sure what they were doing. Later, Carolyn said they were putting needles into her - one in her arm (which later came out; see below), and another first in one hand and then the other.

For a while I tried to shout encouragement to Carolyn, but then I realised I was probably doing more harm than good - my voice was presumably stressed etc, whereas the trained professionals knew what they were doing in looking after her. So I decided to stop trying to assert a connection.

It's interesting looking back on the time I spent in the front of the ambulance. I did the being very normal and chatting thing - the ambulance driver was pleasant, and it was fun being in the front of an ambulance. We drove at 90mph on the M9 to Stirling (speed limit 70mph). (Remember, Carolyn was on her hands and knees on the trolley the whole time, with a paramedic at her head, someone at her side to stop her falling over, and a midwife at her bottom holding the baby's head in(!!)). As we were rounding the roundabout on the M9 slip off to Stirling, the driver got a call on his mobile from Stirling asking about the patient and whether she'd delivered yet(!). He assured her (a) she hadn't and (b) that we were only 4 minutes away. Driver spluttered a bit - I presumed at the time this was "we're nearly there why did she bother calling", but now I'm not sure.

We soon got to the hospital. I got out, Carolyn was wheeled out on the trolley, Leanne said "can you watch that" to the driver and he said "yeah" or some such but didn't realise what he was meant to be watching, he spotted a cannula on the ground and picked it up, assuming it was that. Actually, he had been supposed to watch the cannula in Carolyn's arm on the way out of the ambulance - consequently it had got snagged on the way out, which was why it was on the floor, and why there was blood everywhere (in particular on the trolley and Carolyn's arm - which got very bruised from that!).

I didn't really work out all this until later, but I did notice splatters of blood on the trolley when I got in tothe hospital corridor, and thought "what can that have come from" until I saw Carolyn's arm and realised what had happened (!!). Pleased I'm not squeamish.

In the hosptial they took Carolyn down the corridor to theatre and just left me; I was told I couldn't follow. A while later, after I hung around for a while, someone came up and told me where to get scrubs etc, so I went in and changed and put special shoes on.

I went into theatre, and there were lots of people around... just as a foot (or calf / leg: not just a foot!) was hanging out of Carolyn!! Watched as the doctor pulled her out like an Indian rope trick, with not much pushing from Carolyn. One final push and the head came out - no special difficulty!

When Megan came out she was quite purple and not crying. It was a bit worrying for me, and they whisked her off very quickly to the rescuscitaire, where they worked on her for about I think two minutes before she cried - a very tense two minutes, at least for me. When I heard her cry, I got all emotional and choked up/cried for a moment! I asked them and confirmed it was a girl (although I was pretty sure from looking), and then told Carolyn.

Then they were tugging on the cord to bring out the placenta, which seemed to be requiring a bit of effort. They got most of it, but it was fairly clear to me that there had to be bits left over. There was quite a lot of it, sitting in a dish - looked like about 1.5kg perhaps.

[that's all I wrote on 1 November 2005]

What happened after that is better told in Carolyn's version. In summary, we stayed in a quiet room of the hospital (a quiet ward, actually - an empty one, in a strange echo of what happened with Aidan), got looked after well, and were let out on Monday afternoon! It was fantastic to be home so soon, all together as a new family of four.

In case you were wondering what happened to the timeline (as I did for Aidan) - I'm afraid it's not here. The data is stored as audio notes taken on my phone, and I've not yet (May 2006) transcribed it. If I ever do, I'll put a link here.